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Leadership requires a journey into self-awareness

Amongst the terms used frequently in organisations, the term ‘leadership’ is one that is commonplace. It often refers to ‘senior managers’, ‘senior management teams’, or those on ‘executive boards’. To some extent, this is correct in that it meets the functional explanations of the term. However, it is important to point out that leadership is not just a function of those operating in senior positions. It also refers to any situation where we as individuals act or make decisions about ourselves and others. 

In terms of ‘what’ leadership really is, or what it is that is being led, we do need to develop a fuller understanding and appreciation of the term. 

My intention is not to commence an academic journey into the definitions of leadership, or to discuss the distinctions between ‘management’ and ‘leadership’ theories and practices. Not at all. There is plentiful research by human resource academics that explain the differences. My intention is to simply reflect on what leadership actually ‘feels’ like from the perspective of the individual doing the leading – with the view to assist those leading with understanding the challenges of leading – from within.  

From this perspective, we shall explore the meaning of leadership experientially. This will assist us to check-into ourselves, allowing us to conduct an introspective benchmark for measuring our current leadership or leadership capability. To do this, you need to begin with the topic of self-awareness.  

Author, Jude-Martin Etuka

To unpack, here’s a story: 

Remember the movie “Nemo”? Yes, I loved it too! Nemo was a Percula clown fish that was caught off the shores of the Sydney Harbour by a deep-sea diver and placed in a fish tank in a dental practice with other fish that had apparently also suffered the same plight. The entire plot of the film shows the effort Nemo subsequently takes, with the support of his eager compatriots (the other fish in the tank), to return to where he came from – the ocean.  

Self-awareness is a bit like the ocean. It is vast, bottomless, and unlike the water in a fish tank, is completely limitless. This is why Nemo did everything he could to free himself from the constrictions of the fishbowl and return to where he came from.  

To lead, in any situation (be it in the workplace, home, or socially), we need to be fully aware of who we are. This is particularly crucial in our relationships with others


Do you know who you are?  

Or put it this way: Is your name (“Jude”, “Paul”, “Mary” for example), the sum total of who you think you are? What about your job title or role (as in “Director”, “Senior Manager”, or “IT Consultant”)? Or perhaps your possessions (as in your house, the area you live, the car you drive, or even your social interactions”)?  

Take your time to think about these questions. Respond within yourself. 


Drawing on lessons from Nemo, at times we can be like fish swimming in a fishbowl. We can be content with the distorted view of reality that comes because of our ‘natural’ constrictions. The water in the fishbowl is like the human mind, cut off from the ocean, the original source. In so far as we stay within the confines of the water in the bowl, we are not truly aware of our inner self – our pre-thoughts, mental patterns, mental movies, dispositions, habituations, energies, etc.  

These internal states or ‘meta-programs‘ are intricate to our neurological system. They shape and directly affect our behaviour and decision-making, even if we are not aware of it. Called the mind-body connection, what we do (action), is in effect a consequence of what we are thinking or have thought and stored away, like a computer, in our ‘mental library’ to be used later. Of course, all this activity is done unconsciously

So how do we build self-awareness into our unconscious internal states? There isn’t a prescribed method for becoming more self-aware apart from taking practical steps to being conscious. However, I am sure many have heard of “Johari’s Window”?  

Created by Psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham (1955), the model divides human awareness into four introspective quadrants (or windowpanes): 

  • Window Pane 1the part of ourselves that we know, as do others. 
  • Window Pane 2the part of ourselves that is not known to others, but we know.  
  • Window Pane 3the part of ourselves that we do not know but is known to others. 
  • Window Pane 4the part of ourselves that is not known to self or others. 

The journey of self-awareness (otherwise called the process of ‘introspection’) whilst cutting across all windowpanes, requires a deeper understanding and reflection into windowpane 4 – the ‘unknown’. It is suggestibly of this window that Socrates, the famous ancient Greek philosopher speaks when he advocates: “Man, woman, know thyself” (See Plato’s Phaedrus).  

Through this statement, Socrates suggests a mastery of oneself, or to put it simply, to bring self-awareness in one’s internal state. Whilst this may appear to concern oneself only, upon commencing the process, we quickly realise that building self-awareness is not just about you, it is fundamentally about the other. Indeed, building greater self-awareness enables us to realise that what we think of others, how we behave, attend to, and relate with others, is in fact only a reflection of ourselves. 

To conclude, here’s another story: Jean-Paul Sartre, a 20th century French philosopher once described the intricate and indistinguishable connection between the self and other. He summarised his thoughts by way of a simple question: “Have you ever tried to pick up a grain of sand from the beach?” If you haven’t, go ahead and try it! When you do, you will inevitably pick up multiple grains, not just one. Sartre used this analogy to depict the inextricable connection between ‘l’ and ‘Other’. 

Therefore, from a leadership perspective, knowing who I am is crucial to effectively leading others. Put simply, leading others is first and foremost about leading oneself. Indeed, as you journey through the process of self-discovery, it will result in a change in perception – of ourselves and others. 

Happy journeying! 

Jude-Martin Etuka MIML is an Organisational Development Practitioner. He is currently reading for a PhD in Emotional Intelligence, Transformational Leadership & Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) at the University of Notre Dame, Sydney. He is the Founder and Executive Coach at and a mindfulness facilitator of corporate meditation programs. His passion is to bring mindfulness meditation practices, as a tool of Emotional Intelligence (EI), to those in the workplace, so they can improve self-awareness, and perform at their best.  


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