We all lead from a story.
Whether we realise it or not, every leader carries an inner narrative — a story about who they are and what they’re capable of.
In my work with executives, I’ve found that self-talk is one of the most misunderstood — and most influential — aspects of leadership. It quietly shapes how we think, act, and ultimately succeed.
It’s a critical issue. Gallup research shows workplace wellbeing has been declining for over 15 years, while daily stress continues to rise.
Employee engagement is at rock bottom. Burnout rates in Australia and New Zealand now rival those in North America.
We’re in the Great Squeeze
One reason? We’re caught in what I call the Great Squeeze.
Our personal agency — the ability to control our environment and actions — is being crushed by a polycrisis: overlapping global, economic, and interpersonal challenges. From wars and climate anxiety to inflation and restructures, it all feels too much.
For some leaders, this overwhelm becomes paralysing. It clouds their thinking and makes it hard to lead with purpose or clarity.
Breaking it down
Here’s how this plays out:
Step one. We interpret the world around us and begin to tell ourselves limiting stories — what’s possible, what’s not. That self-talk becomes infected by self-doubt and imposter phenomenon.
Step two. These stories shape our beliefs and worldview. We start to feel stuck, pessimistic, or simply unwilling to take the bold bets needed to grow our organisations.
Step three. Feeling burned out, anxious or trapped by fear, our decision-making is compromised. And that mindset ripples th
I know the feeling
Not only is this chain of events backed by research – I’ve lived it.
In 2019, I had a panic attack after living with sustained work-related stress for years. I was forced to take time out to rest, recover, and take stock.
During that time, I uncovered a painful truth: I’d been telling myself I didn’t have what it takes to lead the company. I’d quietly lost confidence, and over time, that negative inner narrative triggered a slow but steady buildup of stress and cortisol in my system.
It turns out, I wasn’t alone.
In the years since, I’ve coached leaders who carry limiting beliefs that sound like this:
“I have to keep working – I’m nothing without my job.”
“I’m not a real leader. Someone is going to find out.”
“I can’t show vulnerability or they’ll lose trust in me.”
They’re not just scripts – they’re a handbrake on growth. They stop talented people from fulfilling their leadership potential at a time when adaptability and clarity are more important than ever.
How to rewrite your story
So what if your current story isn’t serving you?
The good news is, stories can change. Your limiting beliefs can be challenged. And trust can be rebuilt – in yourself and in others.
I teach a four-part process called The Story Code™, outlined in my latest book:
Challenge your existing narrative. Where did this belief come from? Is it still true? What’s the cost of keeping it?
Overwrite it with evidence. Recall times you succeeded, overcame doubt, or led with courage. We often forget our best leadership moments.
Decide what story you want to live by. Is it “I’m a strong, empathetic leader who builds great teams”? Or “I’m learning to trust my voice and lead with confidence”?
Encode it into habits. Start small: speak up in one meeting, delegate one task, write one new affirmation. Practice turns belief into behaviour.
This isn’t about ignoring reality or putting on a positive spin. It’s about choosing which story gets the final say – the limiting one or the empowering one.
Why this matters now
We’re leading in an era of burnout, rapid change, and psychological complexity. People want more from their jobs than just a pay cheque. They want purpose, meaning, and leaders they can trust.
But here’s the tension: you can’t lead others to clarity if your own inner story is clouded by doubt and fear. You can’t create psychological safety if your own story tells you vulnerability is weakness. And you won’t build a high-performance culture if your beliefs limit what’s possible – for yourself or your team.
Your story is the foundation of your leadership. Change your story, and you change your style. Change your style, and you change your impact.
Be the author, not the actor
That’s why the best leaders don’t just act out someone else’s script – they become the author of their own. They pause to ask: “What’s the story I’m telling myself right now? Is it helping or hurting?”
Leadership isn’t about being perfect – it’s about being intentional. It’s about showing up with a story that’s worth following.
So what story are you telling yourself?
