For the past decade I’ve had a front-row seat to leadership in all its forms. From beaches to boardrooms and coaching sessions to corporate strategy tables. I’ve watched leaders either ignite thriving cultures or slowly lose the heartbeat of their teams. And here’s what I’ve learned: the best leaders don’t just chase results, they are fuelled by purpose, anchored in connection, and committed to building ecosystems where people don’t just survive but thrive sustainably, together.
The Difference Between Communication and Connection
Many leaders believe they’re effective communicators because they can articulate clearly, write emails well, or present ideas convincingly, but communication and connection are not the same. Communication is conversational – connection is transformational. It’s when people feel seen, heard, and valued — and that’s where leadership truly matters. As highlighted in Harvard Business Review’s “Connect, Then Lead” article, leaders must begin with warmth to build trust; without it, competence alone can breed fear and disengagement([HBR, 2013]). When leaders lead with both warmth and strength, teams not only open up but also contribute creatively, pushing performance from driven to inspired.
The best leaders don’t just deliver information they create resonance, they ask questions and listen with intent. They leave space for others to bring their full selves forward and when teams feel connected, not just communicated with, they’ll push harder, innovate more, and show up with greater commitment.
Leadership Is About Inspiring, Not Instructing
Last week before my opening keynote, I watched a CEO step onto the stage to open a three-day leadership conference. Instead of starting with gratitude or a vision for the future, his first words were: “We need to make more money.”
That was it, a profit-first message to kick off three days that were supposed to energise and connect his people. The room fell flat, no spark, no sense of belonging, just a reminder that they were cogs in a financial machine. I could have slapped him! That was not leadership and it’s certainly not how to inspire a team to greater profits. True leadership rallies people around a purpose deeper than profits. It speaks to the heart, not just the head. When we connect people to meaning, to the difference their work makes, to the impact they have on each other and the community, performance stops being something that’s demanded and becomes something people choose.
The Human Side of Leadership
Connected leadership requires courage, the courage to show up as a whole person, not just a role. It means leading with both head and heart. It means acknowledging when you don’t have all the answers but showing your team that you’re committed to finding them together.
And here’s the paradox: when leaders drop the armour and lead as humans first, they earn deeper trust and command greater influence. People don’t follow leaders because of their title, they follow leaders because of how they make them feel, sometimes I think we forget that.
What the Best Leaders Do Differently
After spending years alongside leaders, not just watching them from the front but sitting with them in their most vulnerable moments, here’s what I believe separates the best from the rest:
- They prioritise connection over communication – they make people feel seen and heard.
- They inspire instead of instruct – they model the behaviours they want to see.
- They focus on sustainable energy – they know thriving teams outperform exhausted ones over the long game.
- They measure what matters – not just financial performance, but wellbeing, connection, and culture.
- They think long term – not just in quarters.
- They think about purpose – not just profit.
- They lead as humans first – and build trust through authenticity.
Harvard Business School notes that emotional intelligence (EQ), not just IQ or technical skill, is a stronger predictor of performance and leadership effectiveness. In fact, high EQ enables leaders to inspire discretionary effort—people going above and beyond because they want to, not because they must.
Clayton Christensen, the late Harvard Business School professor, once said: “The measure of your life will not be how much money you make, but how well you help other people become better people.” I couldn’t agree more and it’s a quote that guides my own purpose as a leader, though I would add one more thing to this. To help others become better, you need to start with yourself.
Connected leadership is about doing the inner work so you can show up with clarity, purpose, and energy – because when you thrive sustainably, you don’t just become a better leader, you inspire others to thrive too and that’s the kind of leadership that leaves a legacy.
